Inebriated Logic

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Sat, 30 Jun 2012 21:34:21 -0400

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Sat, 30 Jun 2012 14:30:32 -0400

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Sat, 30 Jun 2012 14:21:34 -0400

Reblog if your drunk and just waking up!!

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 14:19:00 -0400

Solitaire to Sober Up

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 08:25:17 -0500

Decided to play Solitaire to sober up; and I keep trying to put the Black 3 on the Red 3 wondering why it’s not working.

Believing in love is like believing in Santa Claus.

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:50:14 -0500

Believing in love is like believing in Santa Claus.

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Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:16:20 -0500

Hitting up the Gym! Time to get my Summer Body Back!

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:25:44 -0500

Hitting up the Gym! Time to get my Summer Body Back!

The Shit We Do When Drunk!

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:22:00 -0500

Here is how we play this game! With each reblog add a bullet point of something you did when you were drunk or high. Keep this going. Let’s Go!!

Call my mom crying saying, I hate school and I want to go home, and try to explain the noise in the background, of my friends continuously saying “I’m smacked, let’s go to McDonald’s.

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Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:17:36 -0500

Hey - nice blog! Hope you don't mind if I use some of your content, they're great. New follower, can you please follow me back?

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:17:00 -0500

Thank you! and sure! and most of it is not my original content but I did post the sources! I will follow you back.

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Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:15:33 -0500

Supermarket Drunk

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 03:49:06 -0500

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”

The drunk replied, “‘cause you’re ugly.”

annaobeid: I’m not an alcoholic

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 03:33:05 -0500

annaobeid:

I’m not an alcoholic

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Sun, 29 Jan 2012 03:17:05 -0500

When I'm Drunk by Ryan O'Connell

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 03:04:05 -0500

When I’m drunk, I love you. I tell you things I don’t mean. I text you with my penis instead of my hands. That’s what happens when I get wasted. My hands become paralyzed and my dick does all the texting. Remember that text that said, “I want you”? That was my dick. Sorry.

When I’m drunk, I hate you. Or actually, I become paranoid that you don’t like me. I take your comments the wrong way and get defensive. “WHY DIDN’T YOU ASK ME IF I LIKED THE BLIND SIDE? YOU ASKED EVERYONE ELSE! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?” J/K, I would never openly say that but that’s how I feel. It’s completely unfounded and dumb but that’s what drinking does to people. It’s supposed to be a confidence booster but if it actually was, people wouldn’t be behaving so paranoid park and crying all the time.

When I’m drunk, I want to kiss something. Vegetable, animal, mineral: It doesn’t matter so long as it doesn’t talk back too much. I want to eat your face and then a meatball sandwich. In that exact order. Both will give me a stomachache in the morning though.

When I’m drunk, there’s a hyper-awareness of how I’m coming off to people. “Don’t act too drunk. You don’t want people to know!” People spend most of their energy when they’re drunk on trying to act sober. It’s weird. God forbid you behave with less composure than usual!

When I’m drunk, I want to listen to pop music. I swear, Rihanna must go into the studio and be like, “Okay, what will people want to listen to when they’re wasted?” and then she goes and makes the damn thing. Drunk Music really should be it’s own genre. When I wake up the next morning sober, I will scream if I hear that song, “‘Fly Like A G6.” What does it even mean? It’s so dumb. Wait, play it again. No seriously, I’m drunk again.

When I’m drunk, I want to go to bed. I’m running high on energy until I’m not, until I literally start having the most perfect visions of my bed. “Take me there, I wanna go there!” Never mind that the sleep I’m going to have is going to be horrible. I just need to lay down ASAP.

When I’m drunk, everything’s the same. It’s like running through an annoying script. Oh okay, so this is the part of the night when I start yelling accidentally. This is the part when I become STARVING. This is the part when I do something I regret. Nothing surprises you, which is fine and the way it should be. Surprises when you’re drunk are never the good kind. Surprises mean you’re going to jail or getting in a horrible fight with your best friend. SURPRISE, YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO TAKE A DARK TURN IN 2 SHOTS

Go Home Mom! You’re Drunk

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 02:44:05 -0500

Go Home Mom! You’re Drunk

I wasn’t that drunk!

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 02:28:05 -0500

I wasn’t that drunk!

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 02:11:05 -0500

I wasn’t that drunk!

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 01:56:06 -0500

I wasn’t that drunk!